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Showing posts from 2011

St Paul's farce descends into ... farce

Did Richard Chartres, the Bishop of London and third most senior cleric in the Church of England, really suggest a permanent memorial to the Anti Capitalist protesters inside St Paul's? And did he also suggest that this should be A TENT!? Wait! Somebody ring Georges Feydeau *, this would be a great idea for a play. Apparantly the tent would be a place where people can come together to discuss a more fair way to distribute income from the banks and work with companies to improve corporate responsibility. Aaaaargh!! See this blog: oyiabrown * I have just been informed M. Feydeau is dead.   OK, then how about my (other) hero Michael Frayn? I have tried to substantiate the tent idea, see links, above, but cannot confirm the attribution. There’s nothing on Dr R’s blog, or the Anglican website. PPSS: Anglican Christians are being bombed in Nigeria .   What about a sense of priority from our Archbishops and Bishops?   Not a peep from the Archbishop of Canterbury. Nor Dr Char

Britain, where are you?

Archbishop's Christmas sermon – ‘Don’t build lives on selfishness and fear’ Sunday 25th December 2011 Happy Christmas Rowan Williams!   Your widely-leaked Christmas Day sermon stuck, as I feared, to the central, recurring theme of your tenure … that of asking interminable questions.   You spoke of an exploding, disintegrating Britain .. what a terrible shame you didn’t take the opportunity to give us some answers! But first, here’s what we learned from this very clever, perplexing, man: 1)       In Hebrew, 'word' and 'thing' are the same 2)       Edward Elgar said of his Enigma Variations that they were all based on a tune that everyone knew – and no-one has ever worked out what he meant. 3)       Some people respond deeply and truthfully to Jesus without fully knowing who he is or what exactly they are doing in responding to him; this is not a recipe for tight religious exclusivism. Paradoxically, the Archbishop’s speech doesn’t begin with a question, but en

‘Britain, where are you?’ Where are the words we can use to answer?

What do we want from the Archbishop of Canterbury? It’s easy – leadership, guidance, inspiration, faith at the very least.   And what do we get?   Easy; questions…questions ... more questions.   And no answers. I always knew he’d be a disaster when some academic said, on his appointment, “here’s a man who knows how to ask difficult questions.” Well, that’s pretty much ALL he’s given us.   (Not to mention apologies, for English hymns, missionaries and the rest…). And now, the final insult – this Christmas: more questions. He’s leaked the contents of his Christmas sermon.   And here it goes, “The most pressing question we now face, we might well say, is who and where we are as a society.   Bonds have been broken, trust abused and lost.” Brilliant!   He’s worked that out all for himself! On and on he’ll blunder – “Whether it is an urban rioter mindlessly burning down a small shop that serves his community, or a speculator turning his back on the question of who bears the ultimate c

Kim Jong’s not Ill … he’s dead

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Dear Leader dead - The few elite party members with a TV in North Korea learned yesterday that their ‘Dear Leader’ was dead.   A sobbing newsreader in black robes, her voice quivering with grief, read: “Our comrade, Kim Jong Il, the General Secretary of the Korean Workers Party, the Chairman of the National Defense Commission and the commander of the Korean People’s Army has died.” “We make this announcement with great sorrow.” The outpouring of grief from Kim’s loyal subjects was palpable (and worth watching). But let us not mock.   Instead let us rejoice in his achievements, which include shooting a 38-under par round, with 11 holes in one, all in the same year he first picked up a golf club.   Kim-Jong-ils-greatest-achievements.html

E-petition to stop Britain being stripped by the scrap metal pikeys

Cashless Scrap Metal Trade - Amendment to Scrap Metal Merchants Act 1964 Rapid rises in the value of scrap has led to a plague of metal thefts ... even from church roofs and power lines.  This e-petition is after a debate that will force scrap metal merchants to trade through bank accounts and not cash in hand. Metal fencing, gates, manhole covers and other metallic items are stolen on a regular basis. Property is raided for lead, copper and cabling. War memorials and statues have been taken. Overhead power lines are stolen at serious risk to personal safety with huge costs for replacement and major inconvenience to the public. Historically the scrap metal trade has been a cash in hand industry. This creates difficulties as there is no audit trail, making identification of individuals who may be trading stolen metal or who may be committing tax or benefits fraud, a difficult proposition. An amendment to the Scrap Metal Merchants Act 1964 to prohibit cash transactions would make payme

CQC poisoned chalice challenge

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STOP PRESS The CQC is advertising for a £70k!! Head of Public Affairs - see blog below. Now there's a challenge. Head of Public Affairs Employer: CARE QUALITY COMMISSION Posted: 23 November 2011 Location: London   Function: Administration Level: Management Contract: Permanent Hours: Full Time Salary: Up to £70k Visit website

Don’t care commission

More evidence of the failings of the so-called Care Quality Commission (CQC) emerged today (Friday 2 December 2011) as the National Audit Office (NAO) warns that checks on English care homes are falling. Inspections fell ‘significantly’ after April 2009, ‘due to the Commission's decision to prioritise registration over compliance’. Now a CQC board member, Kay Sheldon, has called for the resignation of chief executive Cynthia Bower (£200,000 a year) over a failure of leadership at the regulator. The call came in a statement to the public inquiry into the Mid-Staffordshire Hospital scandal.   Kay Sheldon said, “it is clear that a change of leadership and culture is needed to ensure the organisation is effective and accountable." Cynthia Bower, whose pension pot grew by £240,000 last year from our taxes, was in charge of the West Midlands Strategic Health Authority which was supposed to check the performance of hospital trusts and primary care trusts, including Stafford h

Mark Twain’s 176th birthday – so much more than just a humourist

It’s Mark Twain’s 176th birthday today (30 November) and Google has marked the occasion with one of their ‘doodles’ on their home page.   It shows Twain’s most famous character - Tom Sawyer - tempting a friend into whitewashing over the Google logo on a picket fence.   It’s a reference to a scene in The Adventures of Tom Sawyer where he is ordered to paint the fence by his aunt Polly as a punishment. I’m a big Twain fan, and Tom Sawyer is a great and comic novel.   But there was a fascinating and dark side to this, the greatest American author and personality – his Connecticut Yankee at the Court of King Arthur for example, is a bleak look at how modern technology has mechanised warfare and killing.   His little-read ‘The Damned Human Race’ suggests that evolution is actually running in reverse, such is man’s inhumanity.   We may yet reach the end of the road, he suggests, with the Frenchman! (By the way, Darwin was a fan of his books.) But, let’s remember him, as Google has done,

‘Get off my land!’ Kenley Hayes Lane woodland mystery

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Mystery and intrigue surrounds the sudden clearance of a patch of Kenley woodland and the erection of a 'Private Property, Strictly No Admittance' sign. The land, to the West of Hayes Lane, behind Frobisher Close and Driftwood Drive, has now been enclosed by a makeshift brushwood barrier.  The area borders the public footpath from Hayes Lane to Old Lodge Lane. Veteran rambler John Monnery, who has walked across the land for more than 50 years, found his way barred a few weeks ago by a group of Irish workmen clearing the ground who warned him in no uncertain   terms – ‘this is private land’. He immediately feared that a travellers’ invasion was planned, especially in the wake of the Dale Farm closure and the colonisation of the Lion Green Car Park in Coulsdon. Now that the warning sign is up – at a height that deters removal by ramblers - there’s growing suspicion that a developer is preparing a planning application for executive homes. But Croydon Council confirms this is

Greece's economic woes today and yesterday (1867)

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I’m reading Mark Twain’s ‘Innocents Abroad’ and was struck how this extract from his visit to Greece in 1867 chimed with the today’s economic mess. Read on.. “ Greece is a bleak, unsmiling desert, without agriculture, manufactures or commerce, apparently. What supports its poverty-stricken people or its Government, is a mystery. “…. Under King Otho the revenues of the State were five millions of dollars--raised from a tax of one-tenth of all the agricultural products of the land (which tenth the farmer had to bring to the royal granaries on pack-mules any distance not exceeding six leagues) and from extravagant taxes on trade and commerce. "Out of that five millions the small tyrant tried to keep an army of ten thousand men, pay all the hundreds of useless Grand Equerries in Waiting, First Grooms of the Bedchamber, Lord High Chancellors of the Exploded Exchequer, and all the other absurdities which these puppy-kingdoms indulge in, in imitation of the great monarchies; and in

Time for ‘Time is Tight’ to go British – join the campaign!

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More Sugar for Mr Morrison Popular Purley R&B band Time is Tight have gained a reputation for stomping versions of Booker T. & the M.G.'s classics … but now a campaign is gaining ground for them to look closer to home for their inspiration. ‘Why not look at British music?,’ fans are asking … and now a petition’s been launched imploring the three band members to check out late ‘Sixties and early ‘Seventies group, Free. Chris Myers, who lays claim to being the Time is Tight’s number one fan, has been bombarding band members with emails asking them specifically to look at a little-known Free instrumental number, ‘Sugar for Mr Morrison’, but without success. As a desperate measure to get them to listen up and pay attention, he’s gone viral and is posting this appeal on his blog and Facebook. So, if you’d like to see Time is tight go British – get in touch! And, if you aren’t familiar with Free and Sugar for Mr Morrison, complete your education – here!

Shame on you TESCO

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My 'local' TESCO in Purley - apparantly the busiest in the country - refuses to enforce abuse of its disabled-only parking bays. I can't get a satisfactory answer from them about this failure when I complain (thousands do, apparantly) so I'm getting my MP involved.  Any ideas anyone?

Croydon's cleanest restaurants - from Hero to Zero

Croydon Council’s latest restaurant hygiene ratings are out, see below.   ‘Heros’ are ‘5 Star’ rated for hygiene.   You can work out what ‘Zero’ means!   Thankfully My Old China (once a really nice place) has now shut. Shame about the Kabada in Coulsdon. HERO Abra Kebabra, Wickham Road, Croydon Burger King Croydon University Hospital , London Road, Croydon Clocktower Cafe Town Hall And Clock Cafe Katharine StreetCroydon Companions Takeaway 145 Milne Park East Croydon Cosmo, Hesterman Way, Croydon Croydon Football Club, Albert Road,Croydon Fingers Kebab, Central Parade, Croydon Food For U, Beulah Road, Croydon Ikea, Volta Way, Croydon ZERO  Anikas, Selsdon Parade, Addington, South Croydon Dosa Lounge, St James Road, Croydon Errols Cafe, Surrey Street, Croydon Kabada Brighton Road, Croydon Miss Ellies Cafe, Mitcham Road My Old China Restaurant, Godstone Road, Croydon Rubicorn Restaurant Takeaway, Station Road, West Croydon Sara’s Diner, Church Street, Croydon

Global recession or NOTW phone hacking … what do you want YOUR MP spending their time on?

Yes, yes, I know journalists are pond life, but there’s a rank smell of hypocrisy about the Leveson inquiry into the News of the World phone hacking. As ex-Sun Editor Kelvin MacKenzie writes in the Daily Mail (yes, I know!) the inquiry is just about MPs getting their own back on the press for the breaking of the Parliamentary expenses fiddles. And, can you credit the decision to give Leveson more power to investigate ‘phone hacking than that available to the Iraq war inquiry?   Criminal actions by journalists, or anyone else, need dealing with.   Let the full power of the (existing) law be brought to bear against the perpetrators.   But all the millions of hours and pounds spent on this inquiry, plus the silt surrounding it just diverts attention from really big issues.   Like, to take just one example, the impending global recession. I don’t want my MP wasting his time on this nonsense.   And I don’t want my taxes paying for the ludicrous Culture Media and Sport investigation eit

Mass immigration - first ever chance for a public debate

Say No to 70 million - petition We desperately need an open, honest, public debate about mass immigration which the Home Office predicts will boost the UK’s population to 70 million within 20 years - two-thirds of the increase will be due to immigration. Now there is an opportunity to force a public debate by signing an e-petition at No. 10 here, No to 70 million The petition reads, “Over the past ten years the government has permitted mass immigration despite very strong public opposition reflected in numerous opinion polls.   The petition recognises the benefits that properly controlled immigration could bring to our economy and society, this population increase - the equivalent of building seven cities the size of Birmingham - will have a huge impact both on our quality of life and on our public services, yet the public has never been consulted . So we call on the government to take all necessary steps to get immigration down to a level that will stabilise our population as close to

Four wheels better than two (says science)

Every so often a car, or bike magazine runs a car-versus-bike test, thinking they've discovered the genre , and spreads massive confusion.  If it's published in a car mag ... the car wins.  Bike mag ... bike wins.  Simple. Except the results are always cooked and avoid the laws of physics. Motor Cycle News is the latest offender, pitting an Aprilia RSV4 Factory against a Nissan GT-R at new track day venue  Blyton Park. Here's my considered letter (which, of course they didn't publish). 24 October, 2011 Dear Sir, You asked if it was a fair fight between the Aprilia RSV4 Factory and the Nissan GT-R in your car-versus-bike test at Blyton Park .   I’d say … not really. Simple physics – and common sense - tells you that four wheels firmly planted on the ground will always give a car vastly superior grip, especially in corners. Just look at race track lap records.   I think Blyton’s is 60.1seconds for a road car … comfortably inside the 1 min 10.87 you achieved on t

So farewell then Rev Dr Giles Fraser

So farewell then Rev Dr Giles Fraser, formerly ‘canon chancellor of St Paul 's Cathedral’, you resigned on a matter of great principal. The Church of England should do nothing which could ‘lead to violence’ against anti-capitalism protesters you wrote in the Graudniad. "I don't think anybody is trying to claim moral high ground on this,” you added thoughtfully. I am sure you will be remembered for this principled act, for showing great courage and statesmanship.   Truly, St Paul ’s has lost a fine leader. Perhaps you will one day be Archbishop of Canterbury?

Every minute Charlie squats in the bush, he gets stronger

Apocalypse Now ‎"Every minute I stay in this room, I get weaker, and every minute Charlie squats in the bush, he gets stronger." Watch Apocalypse Now directly from your Facebook http://on.fb.me/rS7zfj

Hi fi mumbo jumbo shocker!

£1,100 a metre for mains cable! Electrical energy can have a long journey from power station to the plug socket in your home.   It starts out at 25,000 volts, is fed to a substation transformer to be 'stepped up' to 400,000 volts to reduce resistance heat losses ready for the journey through the national grid .   And then it passes through transformers at several more substations so it arrives at your home at an appliance-friendly 230 volts.   That’s miles and miles through different types of metal cables. So how is it that hi fi enthusiasts think that it’s worth spending £1,000 or more (yes you heard me right) for a plug, socket and cable to take that energy from the mains socket to their amplifier? Hi fi magazines, always an hilarious read, offer these descriptions: ‘crisp images’, ‘rhythmically confident, ‘sure-footed, ‘depth and scale,’ ‘excitement’, ‘added clarity’, ‘leaner’. You couldn’t make it up! Check it out for yourselves at the defiantly unscientific www.what

Alpha - a new health initiative in Purley and Kenley

Starts Wednesday 16th November 7.30pm. Eleven weeks S t Barnabas, Purley and All Saints, Kenley Our obsession with physical health could mean we ignore our spiritual well-being … and that’s something Chris Thomson, the new Priest in charge of St Barnabas Purley and All Saints, Kenley is determined do something about. He’s given the go ahead for the first Alpha course in the area – an initiative designed to help people think about their spiritual health and ask questions about Christianity. The first session in an 11-week programme kicks off at St Barnabas on Wednesday, 16 November. “It’s about refreshment,” says the Rev Chris, who started in Purley and Kenley in February.   “It’s about helping people to think about their spiritual needs and about their lives beyond the routines of work and play.   We’ll be looking at life and death too, because these are pretty fundamental things that don’t get discussed or thought about enough.” But Rev Chris is emphatic that the Alpha Course is n

Honest poverty and a conscience torpid through virtuous inaction

I LOVE Mark Twain.  Just came across this from 'A Cat Tale' : I have no desire for riches. Honest poverty and a conscience torpid through virtuous inaction are more to me than corner lots and praise.

Daily Telegraph PR puff defences breached

To the Editor of the Daily Telegraph  Sir, One reason I buy the Telegraph is that it is refreshingly free of PR puffs.   But your defences were breached today (6 October, 2011) with the interview with actress Rosamund Pike. This was a blatant plug for InStyle magazine which, your Showbusiness Editor Anita Singh helpfully tells us, is “available now”. I don’t think I’ll be buying InStyle , not least of all because Ms Pike doesn’t seem to have anything of any interest to say … mind you your interview tells us that she “can now be married or not married, live with someone or apart, or even in a separate country.”   Well I never! Yours, Chris Myers Puff: telegraph.co.uk

GIG CANCELLED 28th October - Purley's premier R&B band are back at Airport House

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STOP: PRESS SORRY gig cancelled. ‘Time is Tight’, Purley’s premier R&B band, are back at the Rayon d’Or, Airport House, Purley Way on Friday 28th October. The instrumental group’s appearances are infrequent - but always popular - so make sure you get there before kick-off at 8.30pm Time is Tight’s infrequent apparaces is nothing to do with a shortage of booking requests … it’s a reflection of the demands of the band members’ second careers and heavy business commitments. One of the biggest commitments is keyboard player Giles Holland’s ‘other’ full-time job … as top ranked violinist Vanessa Mae’s personal assistant.   It means global jet-setting, often at short notice. The band members all met up through connections with St Barnabas Church in Higher Drive , Purley where Giles is a regular organist and band conductor – when jet-setting demands allow.   Drummer Gary Pope is married to choir member Pam and guitarist Dave Rayner is a pal of Giles’. Since getting together in 2

Hold the front page! Your Croydon sensation!!!

You wouldn't think there would be much sensation in Croydon Council's municipal magazine, Your Croydon ... but there's a record number of exclamation marks in the October issue of what's self-importantly titled 'Your primary source of community information'.  Seventeen, in fact, almost one per page... Apres the riots, the magazine predictably, launches a 'Love Croydon' campaign.  'We want people to love Croydon!' someone asks ... is this a rhetorical question?  Whatever, it's clearly sensational. My personal favourite exclamation mark is this one - 'Youngsters make clean sweep - with a smile!'  Love it! The riots, looting, violence and arson of August makes an appearance in Your Croydon but curiously, the writing team makes strenuous efforts to avoid using such, presumably inflammatory, terms! "The incidents of August" is how Council Leader Mike Fisher describes a series of events that saw one person killed, busine

Shared use or pay and display in Coulsdon - the £60 question

If you've ever parked on a Coulsdon street, you may not be aware of the latest Croydon Council scam that could cost you £60.  They caught me. The trick is, they've introduced two different types of pay-and-display bays, but one is free.  Confused? You will be when I tell you that one type of bay delights in the Croydon Council-speak term, 'shared use bay'!  It's all too confusing. It gets worse ... there are now two types of pay-and-display machine - one of these is free too.  But they LOOK identical.  And they both issue tickets. The trick is, that tickets from the 'shared use' machine give you a half an hour or so of 'free' parking, but ONLY IN THE 'shared use' bay, if you can spot it.  The other one dishes out tickets at an hourly rate as usual.  This was the machine I used. So, I got caught by BUYING a ticket and using it in the 'shared use' bay. Or at least I think that's what happened.  I argued that it seems unfair